I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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