so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
