Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
