So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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