Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
