I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
