Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
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They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just puked most of my soul out..
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