Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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