hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
