I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
