dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
