You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
