I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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