just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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