Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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