Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
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Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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