She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize