we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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