Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
