But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
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i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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