I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
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