Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
