My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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