wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
