there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
