You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
