I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need a beard to bite.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
