I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
