Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
