Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Of course I have a pirate flag
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
