this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Couch. On fire.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
