"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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