i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
