I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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