no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
