I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
