She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
