you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Couch. On fire.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
