i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
