Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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