i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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