How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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