we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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