grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
