I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize