ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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