There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
