we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
