i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
