so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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