i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
