elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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