Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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