He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
