Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
