Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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