I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
