The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
