this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
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