If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
