I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
