no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
