Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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