I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize