You work out of a Hotel?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
