once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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