Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
that is very illegal...i love you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
