That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
